Home > Baby, Pregnancy, Wilson Stories > Beth’s month of shame

Beth’s month of shame

Sweet Beth.  Sweet sweet Beth.

Jerry Lewis has been calling my wife on the phone for the past month, trying to imprison her to raise bail and help disabled children.  

Unbeknownst to her, Beth agreed – evidently.

Let me reset this story.  Today I sat down on the couch, ate lunch at home with Beth, and she turns to me and says: “I have a confession to make … and I have known about it for a month but not wanted to tell you … and its not really a big deal.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” says I.

And here is the story she told me:

A month ago, a woman named Nicole called Beth at work and told her that she was anonymously nominated by somebody as a “happy worker”.  As a “happy worker” Beth found that she was qualified for something very special.

Beth was offered the distinguished privilege of setting up a website through http://www.mda.org, having a police officer pick her up at work, loading her in the back of his squad car, driving to Outback Steakhouse with the lights and sirens going full blast, sitting down for a free steak dinner, and being imprisoned all afternoon in a “fake prison” at Outback.

Not only did she get all of these exciting experiences, but she would also have the distinct pleasure of capitalizing on her “happy” endearment to her friends, family, and coworkers by directed them to her website and, thereby, asking for them to donate money so that she could be “bailed out” of the fake prison at Outback.

Nicole, her “parole officer” (no joke, she called herself this), set her “bail bond” at $1200, to be collected by Stephanie, “the warden”.

Jerry Lewis wants to imprison my wife for charity. 

The problem?  Evidently, Beth agreed to imprisonment when her parole officer called her to let her know of her anonymous nomination for happiness.

One week letter, Beth received an email.

The week after that, a packet of information in the mail informing her how she should go about fundraising her bail bond.

This past Friday, Bondsman Nicole called to walk Beth through setting up her website.  Beth, still stunned into silence, was enticed by the overwhelming kindness of Nicole.  She managed to yammer and stammer her way into a rain check phone call for today Monday.

So, desperate, Beth made her lunchtime confession to her husband.

“What do I do Lee? I don’t know what to do? What do I tell her? I don’t want to do it! How do I get out of it?”

And, finally, “I couldn’t sleep last night because I was so stressed about going to fake prison.  I can’t raise the money. I don’t want to go in the police car with the lights and sirens going.  Should I tell her I am pregnant?”

That’s my beloved wife ladies and gentlemen.  My sweet bride.

This afternoon, we sent the Warden an email to let her know that Beth would not be able to participate.

There was part of me that REALLY wanted for Beth to follow through with it, but I decided that since Beth was worried to the point of being unable to sleep, that we couldn’t risk the stress to the baby.

Sorry Jerry.  You can’t put my wife in charity prison.

I’ll be honest though – I don’t think this story is over.

Stay posted for more.

  1. September 30, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    Whoa! Now that is a good story. Surely they would “let you out of jail” if you couldn’t raise the charity bail. Right? Right?!

  2. October 2, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    Wilsons make the best stories ever. I love it.

  3. October 14, 2008 at 4:44 pm

    Hey Wilsons – this is Maggie (B & B’s friend in Louisville). I just wanted to say that this is TOTALLY something I would do. So, Beth, I can definitely relate. I’m thankful for sweet husbands that help us get out of the messes we get ourselves into.

    Hope all is well with you guys!

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